3. Mr. Zero Ambition. “We had fun at first,” says Stacy, 35, of Pasadena, CA, about her short-term boyfriend Allan, 36. “But I had to leave him after six months. Yes, he was a nice guy. It just didn't feel right with him because he has no future ambition, like getting married or wanting to have a stable career. He works at a video store, which would have been fine, but he just doesn’t seem to care about what he does or have any plan for his life (hey, he usually didn’t even have a plan for the weekend!). Eventually, I want to buy a home and fix it up with my husband. I also want to have kids, which costs a lot of money these days, so I need a guy who cares at least a little about finances. I enjoyed his company for the months we were together, but his passive approach to just watching his life go by got to me. It got boring to be with a guy who never wanted to do anything but watch TV.”
Lesson learned: Think about where you want to be in 5 or 10 years, and take steps to go after it. Take a small risk, show some initiative. And if your job doesn’t thrill you, try sharing something else that you are passionate about — Mexican food, kayaking, whatever — with your date so she can learn from you and feel a deeper connection and an excitement about being with you.
TO BE CONTINUE