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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Please help me to understand, please.................

Hi guys, I am a passionate person. I like people in general and the ones I love and call loved ones and care about, I really do care and am protective of them.

I am almost always brought to tears every time I see poverty in Africa on TV. I watched America Idols, 'Idol gives back' last night and I am still surprised, hurt and broken everytime I see poverty in Africa. I have seen this stuff first hand, I am African, but fortunate one. I am still blown away man. I am hurt by it, I am kinda helpless and it hurts. I gave back and have been working with an Orphanage for about 8 yrs now in Liberia. I have done other work with other the less fortunate cases, but it is not enough, for I don't have a lot to give.

We all can give back in our simpliest ways and make a big difference in our community and Africa, but we don't. We could start with one person, pay an unfortunate child's school fees, Help a sick people in need of Malaria (# 1 killer in all of Africa) treatment at your local clinics. There is always someone almost at death due to no money for treatment. Do this a few times a year, buy Mosquito nets, you will be surprised how much this will do. And the thing is that they are cheap ass treatments too. I am going to do something about this in my own way I will try, in God I will. You too guys can, it will make you a better person inside and out.

Ok, I am mad and have vented, So the question is:

What will you do if your best friend, your sister or brother was about to date someone you have reservations/concerns about? Would you tell them your concerns before they start dating or wait until things goes wrong before you say what your reservations/concerns are?

Thanks Guys.


Daddy's Girl said...

What you're saying about giving back is really important. Thanks for sharing it.

About your question... I have been in this situation before. I told her what I thought about the guy, but not in a harsh way. I told her that I recognised all his positives, but that I personally had some reservations about ... We have a really great relationship (we're friends but we're like sisters), so it did not affect our friendship. She was like 'ok thanks, I've heard you, but I disagree'. Even though she still went ahead, I'm glad I told her before things went wrong (as they eventually did). I don't think it's fair to wait until things go wrong than to say 'I always had reservations'. If you aren't ready to voice your feelings earlier on, it's best to stay silent even when things go wrong. Otherwise it's too little too late. My two cents.

9ja Opeke said...

I have learnt one thing in can only give your opinion about what you think about a person or situation...step back and then pray about it.

But never after the thing goes bad, you say, "Didn't I tell you..." or "I knew it was going to go wrong."

You can't force your opinion on someone or else they may never trust to tell you when the real deal comes. They will too afraid to share, for fear that you will be the Pontius Pilate in their life.
[I have been on both sides of the fence in this situation]

SET said...

@ DG, thx for your opinion as usual on point. I feel the same but wanted to be sure I was normal. Thx Dear.
@9ja Opeke, thanks for stopping by my blog. I saw yours and will indulge later. I agree with the part of saying your mind and praying for them but you know that some folks are likely to avoid confiding in u regardless how u try to tell them the truth and let them decide? Anyways thx.

amara said...

I have been challenged to do more to help others in a less priviledged position than me.

As for your question I agree with the other comments. In this situation, I will check my motives first, as long as I know I am acting in my friend's best interest I will let him/her know. As long as there is trust in our relationship we can agree to disagree on the issue without it affecting us.
If you don't say anything at the beginning I don't think you should say anything if it doesn't work out cos then my friend may need my shoulder to cry on. The I told you so's can come later! (Just joking).

LurLar said...

When it come to helping the needy, i try my best to make a big impact, but i think it's best to start bit by bit. On the other question, i think it's more of u to be more laid back, cos it can cause big arguments among Best friends or family memebers, i actually witnessed sister's fighting over a lover man. Well If the person feels the same way about u, he might say NO to dem, nd come to you, but there is a saying that goes " whatever that is ur's will never leave u, nd even if it leaves, it will surely come bak" i dnt know if dat helped.

Pink-satin said...

too much poverty around us esp in Africa it is sad really sad...

Omo girl,i will tell my friend b4 she starts dating d bobo in a nice way wat i think of the guy..Its up to her

Jemmy said...

Yes, you're right, it is a blessing to lend a helping hand, thanks for the reminder, quite timely.
I will defintely tell her b4 the relationship starts, leave the ball in her court to play.

ExcitedJade said...

thanks for what ushared about givng back.. thats thotful of u.

i'll definitely tell my friend b4 she goes into it in a nice way, its up to her to listen to me or not

C'est Moi said...

I think it depends on what your reservations where and why. If I have justified reservations then I would say something.

If I don't then I would hold my piece. 2 penny advice kills relationships. Tell her before she really likes the person and if she decides not to heed your advice, then be there for her if/when it all goes pear shaped.

Everyone has to make their own mistakes in life.

Uzo said...

Your question is really tricky especially because people in relationships are interesting. I wouldnt yell my reservations but i would ask questions about their confidence in this person et all.

Giving back is really important and i find that the trick is to pick a cause or project and stick with it. The overall picture can be really daunting but by concentrating on as many or as few things that you are passionate about, change will happen

9ja Opeke said...

Time has taught me to speak when it is necessary and be silent when I have to.
It may be hard...but believe me...there comes a time when it pays to just keep quiet and pray...

SET said...

@ Amara, thx. poverty is a challenge indeed. The I told you so is always in ur head to say and when it is all over u can say it and laugh about it later.

@ Lurlar, Doing bit by bit is key it is a statr and it is effective as well. Thx

@ Pink Satin, I agree, thx it is best to say it in the nicest way and leave the rest to them.

@ Jemmy I am glad it is timely, we all can makke a difference.

SET said...

@ Excitedjade thank u, some people never think of how to give back.

@ C'est Moi, lol we all make our mistakes and we also wish we had someone there to tell us the truth or stop us all they could.

@ Uzo I think giving to organizations u have no clue about in person is bad. we all have sources like bad neighborhoods or orphanages with bad or no schools and no clinics. That is where u can go to and seek out ur own person or kids to help. with school or cure for some sickness or so.

Thank you guys so much

Effervescent said...

Finally! I came off of my lazy spell and created an account. This is my first post, and I am proud.

I know how you feel about the deplorable conditions that some of our people are victim to in parts of the continent. If you know of other ways to help or give back, let me know. Or if you wish to form a foundation of some sort, you know that I am good for that type of work.

With regard to the question of the day, I believe that it depends on who the person is. If you know that this person if feeble and does not take kindly to observations or construction criticism, then do not say anything. But if you are close to the person, be tactful, and let them know how you feel.
"Honesty is the best policy."

Klara said...

I also get sad when I see the desperate hunger stricken faces of people espec African Children on T.V n to think there's little one can do is Frustrating! This one was agreat Post!
About ur quiz: I will politely Inform them before they get serious bt let them make da choice themselves!

SET said...

@ Klara, thx, it is a sad thing to see but the lil we can do can still make a big difernce.